Dude I Hate My Job

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

The Crimes We Commit Against Our Stomachs When We fly

The inflight magazine of Continental airlines displays a beautiful picture on the front cover of a Chinese man pouring tea in a Hong Kong tea house.

Flipping ahead a few pages, the “Welcome Aboard” letter from Chairman, President and CEO of Continental Airlines,  Jeff Smisek, quotes him saying,

“We continue to invest in our product even during the challenging times that continue to plague the airline industry.”

The letter goes on to talk about how Continental listened to their customers and invested in flatbed seats so BusinessFirst passengers on longer flights can actually lie down and sleep. Comfortable seats are always a plus.

Then there’s the fact that as I’m writing this, my laptop is happily plugged in to an outlet just below my seat. Also a plus.

So what’s the problem?

I’ve done a lot of traveling lately. And I’ve been on several different airlines too. From Virgin America, Alaska, and Horizon…to Southwest, Delta, and, now, Continental.

Most airlines today are handing out meal or snack packs on board for a $6 fee. Usually there are a few choices (none of them fantastic, but not too bad either). And while I really don’t relish the idea of paying a few hundred dollars for a ticket (and TSA fees and airport fees and taxes), and getting dinged for checking luggage on top of that, I actually don’t mind paying the $6 for the food.

So, when the flight attendants announced the food and beverage service on my Continental flight today, I had my credit card at the ready. But then I noticed something odd: They were just giving out the food – at no charge.

“Cool!” I thought. The flight attendant came to our aisle and began to hand me a container. Immediately, I noticed it was a hamburger. I asked if there was a vegetarian option. “No,” she replied.

Listen. I’m not a vegetarian, but I don’t like hamburgers. Grudgingly, I took the “burger basket” because I was starving.

Here’s what it looked like once I took it out of the wrapper and prepared to pour on the ketchup:



That’s “Real” American cheese folks. Ick.

Even though Southwest only hands out peanuts, Continental still rates lower in my book.

So, the winner of the “Worst Airline Food Contest” goes to Continental. Congratulations.

C'mon. Do you really think a vegetarian would be fully satisfied with the little baggie of baby carrots, the Fritos, and the Hershey’s chocolate bar?

What valuable marketing lesson have we learned from this experience?

If investing in your products is important to you, then get back to basics and invest in things that will satisfy the basic needs/wants/desires of your customers.

Remembering this rule will help turn more "average Joe clients" into "Business Elite Joes" and will increase the lifetime value of your customers -- rather than turning over a one-shot deal.

Marketing is cheaper when you establish a loyal fan base that keeps coming back.

In Continental's case? Invest in a decent meal program – even if you have to start charging customers $6 a pop. Sure sleep is important (and better when lying down). But you can't sleep if you're hungry.

When we’re hungry, we’ll pay for it…I promise. Feed us well, and we'll come back for more.

This rant has been brought to you by Ninja Girl.

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